Our Usual UN Meeting
by Mitsuki Horenake
Summary: America decides to provide some entertainment for the next annual UN meeting.  Russia approves.  No one else does.  PURE CRACK.


**During the UN meeting, stuff happens. Important stuff is summarized, but never when the actual nations are involved. Why? I'm not really sure. Then again, this might be it. I DO NOT OWN HETALIA: AXIS POWERS.**

**OK, quick warning! Before reading, find the song "River Deep, Mountain High" **_**(whatever version you want: original, Glee, doesn't really matter)**_** on wherever you look for music and keep it there. You'll understand why later XD**

**/=+=/**

Germany stared at all the countries in the room. They were all talking amongst themselves, making a pleasing uproar of information. It actually sounded like something was going on, not just another argument-ridden day. He turned his head around and watched as a few of the newer nations _(Seychelles and Sealand, for the most part)_ trying to talk with older countries…with bad results.

_Everything's actually working for once…that seems like a good sign._ He turned his head again. _Weird…I don't see Italy here._

Not a good sign.

"Hey, Germany!" It was Prussia. "Where the heck is Italy? I don't see him here."

"I don't know. He should be here for the UN meeting-" He blinked. "You're not a nation anymore. Why are you here?"

"I'm just that awesome! You can't leave me behind and decide everything behind my back!"

_Damn…so much for that._

"Germany!" He saw Taiwan walk toward him. "Have you seen China or Japan? They said that they were already here…"

"That's weird…first Italy, now China and Japan…" Germany looked around. "What in the world? England isn't here too…"

"And neither is Canada." Ethiopia tilted his head.

"…who?"

"I dunno. It could be Mexico or Argentina for all I know. I only know is that he's on that side of the world…"

Germany folded his arms, a somewhat troubled look on his face. Five nations that weren't here for the annual UN meeting? Sure, he could give an excuse to whoever the fifth nation was, but he knew that England and Japan were very serious about their meetings. He could expect China to come back later, and as for Italy…

_Don't tell me that Italy got into something again…_ He stood up. _I have to look for him-_

"_**GOOD MORNING**__**, UN!"**_

He sighed as the other nations muttered to themselves in confusion. Sure enough, he saw a door swing open _(it was the middle door, go figure)_ and the United States of America march through the open gateway with that trademark grin on his face. Everyone basically sighed at that point, not surprised about his dramatic entrance.

"America, will you please get to your seat so we can start?" Switzerland screamed from his position.

"Actually, I wanted to show every single one of you a real treat!" He grinned, his hands somehow holding a microphone. "Since it's only seven in the morning, I thought that I should wake up everyone with something that I've been working on!"

_Please let it be espresso coffee, please let it be espresso coffee…_

"Everyone, let me introduce you to a beautiful set of entertainers…The Soul Girls!"

"America, you know we can't let humans in here!" Germany argued.

He wasn't listening, opting instead to jump to his chair and flip on a video camera _(scaring everyone)_. Everyone watched as four other doors opened from around the dome room, and silhouettes of five girls appeared from the light, all in pretty interesting poses.

_***And cue the music***_

"Wow…this is weird…" Seborga stated.

"This is actually entertaining." Vietnam looked around with a grin.

"Yeah, I love the music da ze!" Korea started to shimmy in his seat.

Germany sighed as the girls continued to sing from the shadows of the light. He couldn't help but admit that everyone was getting a power boost from the loud American music. At least the music wasn't about drugs or with rap or whatever Americans listen to _(seriously, Americans have no taste in music)_.

And then the girls walked out of the shadows into the room.

More like trotted. In high heels.

And…um…

"Holy crap, they're dudes!"

Fascinating.

"Hope you enjoy this, guys!" America stood, holding up the camera. "Cause I sure do!"

_America…you really are the supreme leader of the world._ France grinned with an approving nod.

Let's summarize all of this in a few sentences: Italy, England, Canada, China, and Japan.

High heels, fishnet stockings, mini-skirts, maid uniforms, and a freaky wink.

And they're singing.

While some countries were going into a state of shock, others were clearly enjoying the show, going so far as to start cheering the "girls" on _(much to Germany's shock)_. It was then that he felt something wet coming down his nose. _God dammit, he had a nosebleed._

"Hey, Romano! What do you think?" America turned to him. "Your brother's in a mini-skirt!"

"_**SO IS YOURS, JACKASS!"**_

"I know! And I think he's a lot cuter in it, don't you think?"

"_**ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?"**_

"I have been told that."

Romano stared at him with a confused/traumatized look on his face as the "girls" began to run down to the center of the room and proceeded to do some pretty impressive line dancing. Everyone was just wondering how in the world they actually agreed to this. Once the song ended, they were in a pose that just screamed "Korean Girl Group" _(at least, Korea screamed that)_. They all applauded.

"I hope you enjoyed the show!" America grinned. "Now we can go on with the meeting!"

He snapped his fingers, causing the five countries in the middle of the room to blink in surprise. They looked down at their outfits and realized just what the heck happened. They actually took it pretty well.

Hahahaha…no they didn't.

"W-what is this? Why am I in a…?"

"The heck, aru? A mini-dress?"

"Ve~~~~! I'm scared! What's going on, Germany?"

"_Ehh? This isn't happening, is it? I'm not wearing a maid's uniform…"_

"Hey, England DOES look dead sexy in a mini-skirt!"

"S-shut up, you bloody git!"

England proceeded to march up the stairs until he was face-to-face with America. Please bear in mind that he was still in the mini-skirt and the high heels, so the ones that were finding this to be entertaining were laughing their heads off.

"What the hell were you doing, America? I demand an explanation!"

"Hey, I only provided the music and the announcement!" America turned around. "Russia was the one who got you guys."

"R-Russia?"

Everyone turned toward Russia, who was still clapping with an innocent smile on his face. Then again, innocent and Russia mix as well as potassium and water. All the nations that were sitting next to him angled their chairs away from him as much as they can.

"I really liked it, America." He said. "Maybe we should do this again."

No one spoke past what they needed to talk about that day.

**/=+=/**

**Wow…this sucked. Don't ask where this came from.**


End file.
